10-1-08

  today didn't seem real enough to me
as I couldn't decide if I wanted to live
or die away as time didn't care to
waste its breathe on me again;
so I just waited to see if I had a chance
to make it significant enough for me to
stay living here for a little while longer.

  I stared back into the black holes
painting crimson embers golden again for me
as I almost stopped breathing as heart breaching
as those death beats became; it was then when
I waited for it to be quiet enough to ask God
to forgive me for all my sins; just becuse
I was left here all alone to live this life
of loneliness into self seclusion
all by myself.

  endless holes raptured back up
to the clouds above as I wondered
if even they cared for me? but I
guess I was wrong as my Angel's wept
out loud for me before the dawn broke
it's promise again as I waved goodbye
to you and to everyone else who
pretended to love me for who I was.

  born again? I was lost in everything
that I use to hold close to a dream of
an after glow that everything would
one day be ok; and now I know that
the reasons as to why I am here is just
to stay numb enough until the Sun shows
itself worthy for me to be happy again;
or at the very least until the dead awakes
with full mercy to speak its purpose to
cure the present living of its failures
all over again.
  

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