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"Godsent Goodbye." by Aleas

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It took the loss of two great loves to realize that all I needed was just one goodbye, though never spoken, but given to me by God in a manner of which such things are given. Goodbye, "M".


Her and I
When before
It was just myself and me
Holding the candle lit
To warm my thoughts of Cleveland dreamin'
And despite the distances between
I could see clearly the median and means
I dare not overstep

But step by step
With increasing cadence
It was obvious
That what She gave us

.Was.

...Captivating...
 
...Escalating...

To the point that waiting became too much to bare

And I wanted.
God, all I want
Is to gaze into her stare
Lose it in her kiss
Slip into the surreality of her fingertips
Streamlined up and down my spine
And at times
Digging into my hips
And feel safe
With all they days she used to say,
"Everything will be alright."

As she lay me down to rest
Next to her side of the bed

But the true reality...

...Was worthless to me

Until a certain recollection had me recollecting the connection made from my lips to her neck.

And I realize now

That a penny for her thoughts
Costs
Roughly the amount of my own guilt
Heavier than a cross
Upon a broken back
With edges sharpened near the vein

And in vain
I couldn't hide
The stain of previous sin and mercy lost
Pierce proved impervious
And unable to love
Unable to lust
Unable to live

Until pain pulls free
As you did
Taking with it
The release
Of my lament
Along
With all the days you'll never say,
"Everything will be alright."

And I let go
Knowing it hurts so much
To never say goodbye
When goodbye
Is the only way

To move on.











For "M". For me. Special thanks to my friend Sandy for helping me out with this.



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On Friday October 10th, 2008, After hours (621) writes:
Such a harsh lesson to learn, and consciously knowing that so more time has to elapse b4 shades and shapes become more than silhouettes in the street.. A state of mind that allows you to think/feel without reverting back into ones hiding place, where you're so far down that a lulled security is the only dimension you can find cold comfort ...all this said ifeel your slowly surfacing in a slow motion manner, which is a good thing mate, painful none the less im sure.


On Monday October 6th, 2008, Narcissa (703) writes:
Never saying goodbye means never letting go...but going on you must. We all do and we take that love and pain with us. We go on because we have to and in a way we take them with us. You got me in the last part of this...a deep and wounding piece...hopefully it will help you heal.


On Sunday October 5th, 2008, estherbell (106) writes:
One day...you'll shine like gold in the air of summer.*hugs*



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Printed from www.DarkPoetry.com/dp/17547/113671 on Thursday November 20th, 2008 04:52 PM

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